The Spray On Condom: The "Pretty" Girl Syndrome

Posted 7/28/2008 by smartblackboy in Labels: , , , ,

One time in college, a Dean of Students who was also a minister gave me this advice:
“Make friends with the pretty girls – they are often very lonely.”

The fact of the matter is that many guys are intimidated by “pretty” girls.

Especially “pretty” girls who are intelligent, independent, and successful.

Even though we all talk about how we want a “pretty” girl; few of us ever muster the courage to talk to a girl we truly think is beautiful.

We assume that she already has a boyfriend. That she can do way better than us. That she will be too high maintenance. That she is stuck up and a “bitch”.

We make a million excuses to mask our insecurity – our fear of walking up and striking a conversation.

Yet the truth is that many “pretty” girls are lonely. They wonder what is wrong with them? Why the only guys who talk to them are scum balls? Why they can’t just meet a funny, interesting, sweet guy?

However, sometimes that guy does try to talk to the “pretty” girl and she doesn’t even give him a chance. Now there is a slight chance that she might actually be a “bitch”. More likely, she is just afflicted with “pretty girl syndrome”.

After years of being hit on by asshole guys who just want to fuck her, she has developed an all-time defensive perimeter that keeps all boys out.

Ironically, this armor is also keeping her from the man of her dreams. Still, it is hard to blame the “pretty” girl for being wary.

This brings us to the controversial theory of “negging”.

A “neg” is a statement that borders between compliment and insult. An example of a neg is: “I really like your hair even though it’s fake.” Or “Your eyes are really pretty, do you wear contacts?” Or "Your gladiator sandals are really trendy."

A “neg” should always be said with a smile. The reasoning behind using a “neg” on a “pretty” girl is that the girl is used to constantly being complimented, and compliments set off her defense mechanisms. However, very few people even border-line insult a pretty girl on her appearance. So, she is taken aback and might listen to you for a bit longer before she decides to shut you down.

The problem with “negging” is that it might just piss the girl off. Or worse you might touch upon an insecurity and really hurt her.

Still using a “neg” on a really “pretty” girl might be the difference between getting instant rejection and getting her number.

In any case, whether you “neg” or don’t “neg”, remember that the “pretty” girl is still fundamentally human. She is more than just a fantasy. She is a person who is worth learning more about. Try to be her friend before you try to be her fuck buddy. You might be amazed at how it works out.

4 comment(s) to... “The Spray On Condom: The "Pretty" Girl Syndrome”


WHayes said...

oh God! you told them?! haha.

Meg said...

See, the problem was not that my sandals were trendy it was that they weren't GLADIATOR sandals! I can handle trendy. I cannot handle gladiators.

smartblackboy said...

Yep W, gotta keep rewardin the people that read. You can't fake real.

And Meg. You have illustrated a neg perfectly. See it is part compliment "trendy" and part negative "gladiator". So you don't know if you should be flattered or upset.

But for the record you were wearing a "simple" gladiator style shoe. I will add a link to the article.

Which is totally fine, MTV loves him, they are the "it" shoe for the summer - you looked cute :)

Anonymous said...

You are so right, mr. smartblackboy. Just gotta find that right balance.

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