Maybe we should water board John Ashcroft...

Posted 7/19/2008 by WHayes in Labels: , , , , , ,

Thursday, while sitting in the Rice University library catching up on my reading in anticipation for my afternoon class, I tuned my mp3 player to the local NPR station. I was treated to an interesting story on All Things Considered about our fascist, impotent former Attorney General John Ashcroft. In the story, which revealed nothing too revolutionary about Ashcroft's policies regarding the war on terror (I mean, we already know how he's absurd, vicious, and outright McCarthyist), did include a wonderful little soundbite in which Ashcroft defended his narrow definition of what constitutes torture. Specifically, he continued to claim the action known as waterboarding (see The Bourne Ultimatum) "is not torture." It is instead, "a remedial process which worked as it should have."

While he does seem slightly uncomfortable (I won't say sorry) with some of the policies the Bush administration employs in the "war" on terror, my personal jury is still out on whether he's truly apologetic of the shady practices, or simply sorry he got caught. As he says, "I'm appaled that so much seems to be available from classified settings; this town leaks like a siv." That really just translates to "I'm sorry I got caught sticking my foot under that stall to accomodate my wide stance, and am horrified at the reality of the public becoming aware of my actions."

So maybe we should just waterboard the fuck out of this close minded individual, and see if the simulated-drowning experience alters his position on what "torture" actually means. An then if that doesn't work, we'll just do it to his whole fucking family.

Check out the NPR story here.

And for the record, just because the next Attorney General was Hispanic, it didn't make him any less of an asshole than his predecessor.

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