The Spray On Condom: Art Star's Official Relationship Column

There was a time when the real me wrote a dating column.

I was having my own Sex and the City moment with two of my best guy friends (no homo but damn right I kissed my daddy)

I learned two important things - first off random people (deans, teachers, grandparents) will read you articles if they are published.
Second - writing a dating column is terrible for one's personal dating life.

That being said, I've been thinking a lot about the topic of "nice guys" vs "assholes".

We all know girls prefer assholes.

We all know that girls say that it is confidence that they find sexy, not assholishness.

But what is more confident than the ability to be completely honest with a person, perhaps even a stranger.

I feel that 9 times out of ten we know if we like someone or not -probably after 5 minutes of talking to them.

We think they are funny, or cute, or clever, or witty, or intriguing, or maybe just damn sexy.

But we know.

However, most of us spend a couple weeks playing games with the other person just because we feel we have to.

A nice guy might simply say to a girl "Hey I think you are great, Do you want to go on a date with me?"

For whatever reason that probably will not make her want to lick him like a lollipop.

But isn't he being honest - isn't he confident enough to put himself out there - to make himself vulnerable?

Isn't that suppose to be sexy?

Yes. But its not.

Which brings us to the asshole.
The jerk.
The guy who won't admit to kissing his daddy.

He might be confident but it is probably just a front for his own insecurity.
He will probably seem like a chase because he fears vulnerability.
And he will probably keep getting girls, because most girls fear vulnerability too.
Most girls are insecure.

Maybe they like assholes because they aren't ready for a nice guy
Maybe they are still too "girl" for a real man.

Maybe the problem isn't that there aren't enough "nice guys" out there, but that most girls ignore them.

Maybe most girls only go after what they feel they deserve.