Dear Diary: I am forever changing

Dear Diary,

I find myself constantly saying, “Things are always the same”, but they never are.

I’ll run a mile, repeat, run one more and continue. I am constantly changing my mind, attempting to understand all possible scenarios of heavy breathing and racing arms. That is how I know things are constantly changing. That is how I know I am not stuck in the same spiral of sweaty palms and burning skin.

I have a friend; we used to be the best of friends, but lately, we just don’t land on the same page like we used to. I’m not sure whether she’s growing bored of me, or if I’m growing bored of her, but I just don’t see that light that used to shine bright. It has grown dull, unoriginal, and desperate to intrigue, or maybe I’m just now noticing. That is how I know things are constantly changing. That is how I know I am not stuck in the same spiral of good laughs and new, interesting conversations.

The year, it passes through, attempting to be discreet about its development, though it only accentuates its growth by making some pleasantly extroverted, while others, it keeps locked away in memories of the year before. It makes some chipper with its annual warming and those afraid to melt, are left like popsicles out of an icebox. That is how I know things are constantly changing. That is how I know I have the opportunity to burn and go out without heavy layers of skin.

I am different; I am forever changing.

- astruso.