Showing posts with label power. Show all posts
Showing posts with label power. Show all posts

Anatomical Drawing - Leonardo Da Vinci


During my first semester in college I took what I felt was a warranted and appropriate hiatus. I was exhausted by my surroundings, and I needed an escape. I plunged head first into isolation, chilling, yet not nearly as cold as what I was trying to get away from...

I spent the first nine years of my life as an only child, so I didn't find it difficult to spend time alone growing as a person and re-establishing my priorities. I'm creative soul, an artist, and I credit my creativity to most of my time alone as a child which led to uninhibited thinking and imagination.

Some consider isolation unhealthy,others aren't sincerely happy so they use outside interaction as a means of fulfillment. Some frown upon such individuality because they are afraid that this type independence will lead to loneliness and certain individuals are simply fearful of being exposed to their own thoughts. But I believe that these meditations are invaluable, because they are your own unique thoughts, and lead to an expansion in the products of the mind.

I consider these same concepts prevalent in the idea of hiatus.
Sometimes we all just need to get away in order to evaluate and process life.
TO THINK.

My hiatus consisted of purification and spiritual enlightenment.

My theory?

Once I expel the weeds, thorns will choke no more.
This proved to be true.


I was able to HEAR myself, think, feel and BE…undisturbed.
I could contemplate with a sense of clarity that made me look towards the components of my life with a keen eye.I was figuring out who I am and why I am who I am.I could immediately look  towards what I may have perceived as failure in the past and understand why I had to “fail” in terms of the present.

After recuperation my vision began unveil itself again. I was working towards my goals, expanding myself creatively, understanding the life I wanted to live and enjoying it completely.My time slots began to fill, I was working. I was creating, learning, loving and I was doing it better than before.

I had taken a break from certain parts of my life to establish new paths.

Sistine Chapel - Michelangelo

Hiatus is something kanYe West and I have in common.

                                                             

My hiatus procured an expansion of creativity, his led to creative genius.

If you remember Kanye's state before his disappearance, he wasn't exactly coherent.People try to make his virtual disappearance all about his outburst at the VMA's.
They fail to consider all of the issues.
kanYe seemed to be lost, pulled in a million different directions, unsure of what to do with his fame, entourage and assets (as most celebrities are), and he had just lost his mother in response to an act often seen in the world of the "Rich & Famous".

Have you ever felt betrayed by the one thing you thought you always wanted?


PEOPLE TRY TO PAINT 'YE AS A DOUCHE
forgetting how much they loved "Through The Wire", "All Falls Down" and the overall humble hip-hop artist that accompanied his first album The College Dropout.

"We" always tend to forget the good times in lieu of the bad, and for some reason I think Kanye did too, so he had to disappear, to find himself, to find something real.
I think we can all relate to this.

When 'Ye fell into oblivion he was missed (at least by me). Everyone knew he would come back, they just couldn't wait to see what he had up his sleeve.
What we found is that kanYe had been working on something that was so damn good many couldn't comprehend it because it had never been done.

MY BEAUTIFUL DARK TWISTED FANTASY:




When I first heard the track for Power I thought it was nice.Decent.
A 4 minute and 52 second purge about how he couldn't control his "Power" and people didn't understand him,classic 'Ye. But when I saw the video for the single I was taken to a totally different place. A 2 minute allegory encapsulating the fall of man, and the temptations that take him down. A moving reference to the Sistine Chapel. GENIUS.

Then 'Ye made a highly anticipated comeback at the MTV awards performing "Runaway" (appropriately titled). I was unsure of how I felt about the track and the performance. It was sloppy, it seemed thrown together hours before the show (it probably was). I didn't like it, but I wanted to.
The autotune, protune, 808 combination was a little played. The performance overall was original, but something was left to be desired. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

It was Ye's performances at Saturday Night Live that made it apparent that he was back, and fresher than before.He set the stage and once again proved that he wasn't just another rapper. He had taken both Power and Runaway to the next level, a level that only the greats achieve. 

The greats that can sell out arenas during a recession. 
The type of artists that spark creativity in others.
The artists that begin a culture, and not the shallow type of culture he created with Graduation (and those annoying shutter shades), something greater. 


The performances were the perfect juxtaposition, kanYe and his personality in an all red suit, and a stage full of ballerinas clad in white. The metaphorical beauty of the entire piece from start to finish was sort of indescribable. While watching I could literally feel my pupils dilate.




I was witnessing what I consider to be pure genius, after hiatus.

"A beautiful death", an evolutionary rebirth.




 
When you go in search of honey, you must expect to be stung by bees.





I fall in love easily.



It really doesn't take much.




Sometimes, I click through my friends pictures on facebook, and see a beautiful girl.



She is half mexican and german with dark hair and high cheek bones.



She is a photographer and art curator (aren't they always).



She likes dancing and Jesus and doesn't do either as much as she would like.



Her eyes say I like to burn down pretty things.



Yet she admits to being a mess, therefore I can't help but think she is weak.



I can't help but think she needs saving.



And if I were to ever meet her, I can't help but think I would be the worst thing that ever happened to her.



Sometimes you can boil your essence into one simple sentence:



I make girls cry.



It is so remarkable because I am the last guy on earth who should be able to make a girl cry. I'm not threatening, I'm very attuned to emotion, I pay attention, I am sweet, I am funny, I am in some ways like a girl.



Yet time and time and time and time again - I find crying girls on my doorstep.



There is nothing worse than finding a crying girl on your doorstep.



It is like finding a dead baby.



I know that is harsh but when you have made the crying girl cry, and she is on your doorstep, it is the worst feeling in the world.



See you can't save a dead baby - it is already dead. However, you can't get rid of it either. You can't ignore it. The baby is on your doorstep - demanding your attention, and you must give it to her.



This is why one of my resolutions for 2009 is for the first time in 7 years, go an entire year without causing a girl to cry.



However, I feel like I will be easier to not eat meat or dairy for a month than to achieve this goal.



Because at the end of the day, I need to find someone stronger than myself. Yet, the paradox is that all strong people have one great weakness - they want to be understood.



So, if I would devour a weaker girl, a strong girl has even less of a chance - I would unfortunately actually want her, and respect her, and seek to love her.



And that only makes it worse.



And it all ties back in to falling in love.



Love makes us vulnerable. Love is power.



If you have a greater capacity for love than another person, you have more power than them.



Unfortunately, I am a very powerful person.



Unfortunately, Jessica Marie Rucker Templeton Sherrell, I would make you cry.



Sent. 11:28:06 PM: If you could be goddess over anything what would it be?

Received. 11:38:30 PM: Maybe goddess of love, or the hunt lol what makes u ask? U god of what?

Sent. 11:40:56 PM: What is so seductive about the hunt?

Received. 11:44:08 PM: Well particularly when its a woman. I love the idea of a beautiful woman conquering masculine power. Men love to be dominated in the presence of a powerful woman.

Sent. 11:47:06 PM: And you think you are this dominating woman?

Received. 11:57:48 PM: Lol well you asked a hypothetical. But I think I sometimes embody that persona - it is a difficult side of me. Do you always try to get to know new people with intense hypotheticals?

Sent. 12:12:02 AM: Sry. At a bday party. Lol no I don't but it was my question of the week and you gave a feisty answer. I would be the god of small things.

Received. 12:26:26 AM: Hmn I like that, tell me more.

Sent. 12:32:17 AM: I would be the god of paper bags that get caught in the wind, of the dream life of dragon flies, of subatomic crushes and particles, of leaves falling at midnight, of first meetings.

Sent. 12:42:58 AM: Of pebbles that are worth nothing but are pretty to look at, of chalk boards and stick figures.

Received. 12:50:51 AM: Hmn I like ur imagination

Received. 12:51:16 AM: My battery is low btw

Sent. 12:52:14 AM: Well then. Let's call it a good first impression :) agree?

Received. 2:02:35 AM: Lol I do believe I agree


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