Round Two: WHayes on JDub

Posted 12/03/2009 by WHayes in Labels: , , , , ,

So thanksgiving threw us all off a beat (I blame the sweet potatoes...delicious, delicious sweet potatoes), but JDub and me are here to set the record vehemently disagreeing with one another.

JDub, welcome to the world of cinema advertising: its all lies. Of course they chose to distill nearly three hours of intelligent filmmaking into 30 second sips of blah -- they do this, because they think we're all idiots. Why shouldn't they, seeing as how we made Paul Blart: Mall Cop into a blockbuster hit when it should have been taking up space at the bottom of a Walmart $5 sale bin? The longer we keep giving them reason to believe that we're morons who will shell out $7-$14 to see anything, the longer they'll lie and cheat to make their product seem like everything we've been waiting for.

Consider this recent trailer for Avatar:

Notice how all mention of bloody cat-people genocide has been scrubbed from that 1:40 of pure, Nickelodeon-level bliss. The music is so lighthearted and cheery, you'd think you were watching Fern Gully...since you are. The point is, Hollywood has a bottom line to meet, and in the age where premiere-night audiences can eviscerate a shit movie in mere minutes (via Twitter, no less), they have to recoup as much of their investment as possible within the first 24 hours. This translates into getting as many asses in the seats as possible, and if they have to dress the product up as though it were in six different genres at once, so be it. As long as we know they're full of it, we'll be fine.

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