The Boundary: The Tao of Pooh
Posted 12/08/2009 by Editor in Labels: accidents, loving someone else, new series, smartblackboy, the boundary, the tao of pooh
I met her in a drawing class. We had both blindly picked each others drawings as our favorites in the class. After class we struck up a conversation – she was gorgeous with long wavy sandy blonde hair. I asked her to get coffee – just to get to know her better, and I fell in love.
In her I had met my match – a girl as passionate as me. She cared about the environment so deeply that it challenged my own beliefs. I found being around her exhilarating – she being so unlike myself. She would rather have disease wipe out the majority of the human population than for us to continue destroying the environment. Statements like these baffled me, but she believed it so sincerely – and it was the sincerity of her belief that enchanted me.
However, when I asked – she revealed that she had a boyfriend back home. She mentioned that she was very unhappy in her relationship, and then did not mention him again. We quickly started spending a lot of time together. We would take long walks together around midnight, exploring ideas of faith, people, and love. I soon found myself liking her more and more, and for the first time since I had left a 2.5 year relationship, I realized I actually could love this girl and was willing to call her my girl friend.
I found myself reading the Tao of Pooh just to try to understand her better. When I was out at a supermarket I would call her just to see if she needed me to pick her up any trail mix. I would write her poetry that was as short and beautiful as she was. However, the only thing between us was her unspoken boyfriend back home. I assumed that she would soon break up with him, and was just waiting to go back home over Fall Break and do it in person. I wanted to be patient, however one fall night, in a rush of pure joy and danger, we kissed and the spell was complete.
Yet, when she came back from break her facebook status still had her in a relationship. She didn’t mention it, and I didn’t either. However, I couldn’t help wishing that this invisible third party would just go away. If he would just disappear – then I could have her as a girlfriend, I could finally have a happily-ever-after. We continued to spend time together, and take our walks. When we were together the world just seemed to make more sense, and everything deep inside of you just felt more alive. More and more I found myself disliking this boyfriend of hers, this elephant, this unspoken wall between us. I just wished that he could be out of the picture, that he could just go away.
One night she was no longer there. I went to her room and couldn’t find her. I went to the art studio and she wasn’t there. I called her and she didn’t answer. Finally I texted her, “where are you, are you okay?” And she replied, “my boyfriend died.” I asked how, and she said “drowned”. Her boyfriend and some buddies had gotten drunk and attempted to swim the length of a pool that was covered by a tarp. He didn’t make it and tragically drowned. When she came back to school weeks later to finish her exam, we briefly passed each other walking outside, she didn’t say a word to me – but I saw – I swear I saw – hatred.
In her I had met my match – a girl as passionate as me. She cared about the environment so deeply that it challenged my own beliefs. I found being around her exhilarating – she being so unlike myself. She would rather have disease wipe out the majority of the human population than for us to continue destroying the environment. Statements like these baffled me, but she believed it so sincerely – and it was the sincerity of her belief that enchanted me.
However, when I asked – she revealed that she had a boyfriend back home. She mentioned that she was very unhappy in her relationship, and then did not mention him again. We quickly started spending a lot of time together. We would take long walks together around midnight, exploring ideas of faith, people, and love. I soon found myself liking her more and more, and for the first time since I had left a 2.5 year relationship, I realized I actually could love this girl and was willing to call her my girl friend.
I found myself reading the Tao of Pooh just to try to understand her better. When I was out at a supermarket I would call her just to see if she needed me to pick her up any trail mix. I would write her poetry that was as short and beautiful as she was. However, the only thing between us was her unspoken boyfriend back home. I assumed that she would soon break up with him, and was just waiting to go back home over Fall Break and do it in person. I wanted to be patient, however one fall night, in a rush of pure joy and danger, we kissed and the spell was complete.
Yet, when she came back from break her facebook status still had her in a relationship. She didn’t mention it, and I didn’t either. However, I couldn’t help wishing that this invisible third party would just go away. If he would just disappear – then I could have her as a girlfriend, I could finally have a happily-ever-after. We continued to spend time together, and take our walks. When we were together the world just seemed to make more sense, and everything deep inside of you just felt more alive. More and more I found myself disliking this boyfriend of hers, this elephant, this unspoken wall between us. I just wished that he could be out of the picture, that he could just go away.
One night she was no longer there. I went to her room and couldn’t find her. I went to the art studio and she wasn’t there. I called her and she didn’t answer. Finally I texted her, “where are you, are you okay?” And she replied, “my boyfriend died.” I asked how, and she said “drowned”. Her boyfriend and some buddies had gotten drunk and attempted to swim the length of a pool that was covered by a tarp. He didn’t make it and tragically drowned. When she came back to school weeks later to finish her exam, we briefly passed each other walking outside, she didn’t say a word to me – but I saw – I swear I saw – hatred.
2 comment(s) to... “The Boundary: The Tao of Pooh”
2 comments:
Powerful.
Isn't interesting that her anger with herself gets displaced to you. I am a firm believer in taking responsibility for your decisions. A fleeting kiss and romantic poetry, for that matter, takes two parties. Her hatred is understandable but I am curious how she feels today.
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