The Sweet Meats: The Debate Over Lady Gaga

Posted 9/25/2009 by smartblackboy in Labels: , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is a new weekly column where WHayes and your commander-in-chief smartblackboy go back and forth over the sweet meats of life.

SmartBlackBoy: I can't get Lady Gaga's Paparazzi song and performance out of my head. There is a moment where she is heartbreakingly vulnerable and vacant all at the same time that makes me want to cream my pants. Seriously has there been a better mainstream pop star divette who is so alluring weird?

WHayes: Well, since we're being blunt with our imagery, I didn't get quite the cream-worthy response, or the vulnerable moment: vulnerability isn't something I typically look for in stage performers. Their job is based around the logic of publicly appearing as a fusion of everything every fan wants them to be. Now, this does allow for Gaga to be vulnerable, since SBB can successfully project his wants onto her silver screen like everyone else. Ambiguous subjectivity. This is the same reason why, instead of focusing on Gaga, I took notice of her dancers clothing, specifically the black dude next to her who was wearing lace panties as a mask. This is where I say something about high art routinely emasculating black male performers, because -- if Gaga represents the intersection between high art and pop culture -- that's exactly what that was.

Here's the question: for all of her calculated allure and eccentricity, which was the more talked about subject 'Taylorgate,' or Gaga's outfits that night? Which one was more definitive of mainstream pop culture?

SBB: Fuck that. Go call your leading behavioral psychologist, take a snap shot of Lady Gaga's face right after she is done playing the piano, and right before the fake blood comes out - and ask them what emotion is on her face. Face sequencing is 98% accurate and my favorite PhD candidate said the emotion was vulnerability.

I hate how our modern world cowers behind the veil of "ambiguous subjectivity". Sure not everything is "black"and "white" but not everything is subjective either. There are rules, mores, decorum, and manners. The guy interrupting the Presidents speech was rude and should apologize for being rude. Hell Kanye West was rude and DID apologize for being rude. If a negro wants to prance around and wear white lace panties on his face - that is post-modern. Black men are allowed to be more than brute swinging dicks. They can be queer dancing dicks as well.

WHayes: Well I'm gonna go look for some screen caps. Also, agreed, yet as someone in the brute swinging dick category, the queer dancing dick seems (from my heteronormative perspective) puzzling. Black men used to get castrated back during civil rights as punishment for the ways they were sexualized by western culture (the brute swinging dick being a threat to the pink swinging dick), so for a black dude to willfully don (or be adorned with) the trappings of a vagina (because those threaten men too, you see) rubs me as counterproductive.

SBB: I think you just need to get in touch with your inner dancing queen. But if you want to talk black victimization - is Obama a victim? Is the image of Kanye West grabbing the mic from Taylor Swift the reason they hate us so much. Is the fear of being outed as a hermaphrodite the reason why Lady Gaga wore a red thong and lace onesie to the Marc Jacobs after party. (And P.S. her playing poker face was awesome....I'm youtubing it for this article). Oh and just for fun what happened to Joe Biden and Michelle Obama?

WHayes: The image is symptomatic of why they hate us: a renowned-for-being-cocky black dude traipsing all over the virginal beauty of America's blonde sweetheart just stirs up a lot of bad mojo. It's why women in Los Angeles suddenly stare at the ground when I pass them in the street. Granted, every woman has a right and reason to protect herself, but we'd be kidding ourselves to believe that (despite what S.E. Cupp says) part of that isn't racially motivated. Black dudes get it, asian dudes get it.

Nevertheless, motherfucker should have known better than to mess with her in that setting. Doing it to Fall Out Boy is fine, but cross the gender/race-boundary, and you instantly become a meme. A meme that draws the Bull Connor out of otherwise civil white folks. Gaga will (thankfully) never dissolve into a meme, not until she gloriously flames-out on stage within the next 10 years (she's 23, so she's got time). It'll be either 1) a reenactment of the VMA performance in which she actually does stab herself to death, or 2) something involving arsenic and Philip Glass' "The Grid" played on unaccompanied piano, the pace gradually slowing as her heart stops beating.

Also, aside from Michelle being in Copenhagen advocating that the 2016 Olympics be held in Chicago, and Joe nearly getting blown up, what happened?

SBB: I have it on good authority that WHayes regularly entertains the idea of xxxxxxxxx. And that is the real sweet meat.

WHayes: Loser.

4 comment(s) to... “The Sweet Meats: The Debate Over Lady Gaga”


PicMuse said...

Can we discuss the lameness of the piano playing...

fotoloka said...

You guys made my day....Lady Gaga really got you going. I think she's the best female ( or whatever) to hit the cultural landscape in at least a decade

Anonymous said...

i'll be totally honest. i really dislike lady gaga. i liked poker face. i am ok with her music. but i find her person to be full of it.

and i have no tolerance for stars like her complaining about the paparazzi.

watching her give interviews makes me cringe and her whole "art house" idea is fabulous, but i'm not sure how much i believe it.

i mean, let's face it, she can't even afford pants.

WHayes said...

although i do give her credit for trying something different. im sad the gaga/kanye tour didn't work out. i was expecting nothing short of magic. no, seriously. im sure they would have gotten a lot of creative people working together on it, and that's exciting shit.

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