Merry Christmas, you animals.

Posted 12/26/2008 by WHayes in Labels: , , ,
Although technically it's December 26th, I still want to wish the Art Star family the best Christmas we all want.

A present to you few items, a Christmas task-list, if you will:

1) Early "Family Guy" episodes are pretty lame in retrospect.
2) The "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" theme song is surprisingly good.
Frost/Nixon is a great movie.
The Spirit is not.
5) There is no creature more beautiful than a girl from Texas.
6) Bukowski almost makes being a drunken animal sound like a good career path,
7) Take a chance.
8) Give in. She'll thank you for it.
9) "Justice League: Unlimited" was art.
10) That's not writing, it's typing.
11) Get a girl with hips, and then get a scotch. You'll feel all Sterling Cooper, and you'll love it.
12) When's the last time you masturbated?
13) Go to Europe.
14) Don't squat in an artists commune. You're not homeless; don't pretend to be - armchair activism like that only makes you feel important.
15) Watch
Dune, Logan's Run, and The Neverending Story all in a row. Be sure to have a few beers or some decent wine while you watch. It's a long marathon, so bring plenty.
16) Give in. She'll hate you for it.
17) Make a best friend.
18) Try and remember the last time you were in love. Now come up with three reasons to call that person you loved, and write them down on a piece of paper. 
19) Burn that fucking paper. You're a moron if you call.
20) Find a good series of blogs/websites to enjoy. I suggest:
21) Look at yourself good and long in the mirror, and come up with three things you don't like about your face. I promise you're the only person who sees those things.
22) Burn a textbook. It's cathartic, and more fun when you do it with friends.
23) Learn something new. Make it something complicated.
24) Do you remember the dream you had last night?
25) Drink a ton of water. It keeps the acne at bay.
26) Don't patronize Tyler Perry. His "Fat Suit Adventures" are the lowest common denominator of base and formulaic entertainment. Highway robbery of the blackest variety.
27) Motherfucking Teen Wolf. Hell yes.
28) Yes, he's flirting with you. What are you gonna do about it?
29) Find a book you read as a kid. Read it again, and feel good about your childhood.
30) Try.

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