We of the internet have to reign in a bad trend, and try to use our hyperbole responsibly. I'm pretty successful at this, so when I tell you that "TiK ToK" was "pants-shittingly average," you can be sure that I meant it. That said, The Hurt Locker is that war movie Bush-era Iraq desperately needed, and I love it.

I was reading an email from a good friend of mine, and she informed me that she might vote for Bob Barr.

Now I didn't know who Bob Barr is (although once I saw a picture of him I remembered seeing him on TV) and so I decided to go to his campaign site and read what he had to say.

After reading his literature, my conclusion is that Bob Barr is a joke.

Here are 10 reasons why:

1. Bob Barr's first issue is "Spending and the Economy" where he dramatically proclaims that the government cannot continue spending like it has. Absolutely right.

Then he says federal programs should be cut. He doesn't spell out exactly which ones but Welfare, Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security I'm sure are high on his list (strangely along with Military Outlays). Okay questionable, but I'm still with you.

Finally, he says there should be a wall put up between government and the economy. Okay, this is just idiotic. More deregulation? Seriously? Bob Barr do you have a TV or read a newspaper? I am sorry but how much do things have to suck before people realize that more deregulation is not the answer, people will always be greedy, and having a watchdog, even one as imperfect as the U.S. Government, is better than none at all.
Joke Factor: 8.2

2. Bob Barr on "Energy Policy" is just puzzling. Pretty much he favors no government regulation, encouragement, or penalties on energy production. He favors off shore drilling and is oddly excited about "shale oil". Seriously, that's it.
Joke Factor: 9.7

3. Bob Barr on the "Iraq War" is almost as puzzling as his energy policy. He is against the Iraq War but strangely says the Democrats don't oppose the Republicans on the longterm occupation of Iraq. Then he says he is for withdrawal but with no timetables. So he has not ever heard of Obama, and hates yet wants to be McCain?
Joke Factor: 9.5

4. Bob Barr on "Veterans" is like watching a good jabber with no knock out punch. He says we must take better care of our veterans -a worthy jab. But he limits this care only to medical care - no knock out punch. Not even sure if this means he supports mental health coverage or just physical care. This is not the G.I. Bill folks.
Joke Factor: 5.4

5. Bob Barr on "Health Care" is complex. Health Care is always complex. Bob Barr resembles John McCain on health care, more deregulation, no state lines, competition will make everything cheaper (oh and let's not favor employee covered health care). I think this will utterly not work - because of the fact that health insurance companies don't like insuring people who are sick (aka people who need health insurance). However, when you have a large group of people there are less likely to be as many sick people . This is why sick people can get health insurance under an employee plan but not on their own. Your premium increases when there are more sick people let into your pool (or older people) - it also increases as you get older if you are self-insured. (adverse selection) Basically the closer you get to actually needing health insurance, the more health insurance costs. Bob Barr's plan doesn't overcome this fact. There are lots of other reasons why I think he is wrong but health care is complex, I'm out of space, and most of you stopped reading a long time ago.
Joke Factor: 7.6

5. Please go and read Bob Barr's Education and Home Schooling. Treat yourself. You deserve a good laugh.
Joke Factor: 10

6. Bob Barr on The Second Amendment (aka Gun Control) is a celebration of our constitutional right to bear arms. Sure - I buy that. However being against laws that require gun registration, restriction of ownership, manufacture, or transfer or sale of firearms or ammunition? I am sorry Bob but ex-criminals who buy AK-47s in the middle of Baltimore aren't going hunting.
Joke Factor: 7.8

7. Bob Barr on Taxes makes me question myself. Lower taxes almost always benefit me, but does it benefit the country? He is right though our tax code sucks. But so does a flat tax if you are poor.
Joke Factor: 3.2

8. Bob Barr on Immigration Policy had me happy for one second. He acknowledged we had two immigration problems repelling illegal immigrants and attracting legal ones. And he didn't call for a fence. But everything else is garbage.
Joke Factor: 6.7

9. Bob Barr on Marriage can only be enjoyed in view of Bob Barr on Racism and Equality. On Equality Bob Barr states that government shouldn't make laws that discriminate based on sexuality. Bob Barr on Marriage says well we should let the states decide if they want to accept civil unions. Because discrimination is okay on the state level.
Joke Factor: 9.7

10. Bob Barr on Monetary Policy is frightening. Let's eliminate the Federal Reserve and let the market regulate money supply. Once again we have seen how well the market works with little regulation. Have you or your parents checked your 401k lately? Don't - go to happy hour instead. Besides how idiotic that is, I would have never learned that Ben Bernanke has swagger like T.I. and that would have been a true American tragedy.
Joke Factor: 9.2