Landmark case awards Lohan $100MM. Art Star confused.

Posted 4/01/2010 by coelder in Labels: , , , ,

In a victory for deluded narcissists everywhere, Lindsay Lohan has won her lawsuit--and her $100 million settlement--against E-Trade for appropriating the name "Lindsay" in its "milkaholic" Super Bowl babies commercial. The lawsuit went all the way to the Supreme Court, where Justice Scalia, in a surprise 9-0 ruling in Lohan's favor, wrote for the court, "Lohan deserves the chance to mock herself; she needs no help from E-Trade." Justice Thomas remained silent on the matter.

Original video below:

Lohan's attorney, Stephanie Ovadia, made this statement:

"Lindsay has won an important battle today: the right to have her name barred from misappropriation as a way to publicly humiliate her. This victory follows the precedents of Gosselin v. and Palin v. Coalition for Sanity. Neither Kate nor Sarah put themselves out there to be publicly mocked, despite the fact that Kate leaves copies of her planner strategically placed outside her Pennsylvania residence and that Sarah continues to post inane drivel on her Facebook page. My client would never stoop to such lows. She is a bastion of decency and a beacon of modesty."

"This goes to show that in America, the only limit on free speech is buying the silence of others. Isn't this a wonderful country?"

With our disappointment looking towards the Supreme Court, we wonder where public creativity will stand in the future.  Will there always be a satirical guardian looking over the public or will this be an isolated incident of someone's ego being too large?  We don't know, but hear you me, we will not be running the short story on its way to publication about the ditzy little frog from Nashville named Miley.

If you ever find the story, we're sorry in advance Ms. Cyrus.

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