Theoretically, I've had some of the best schooling this country has to offer for the last 12 years of my life.

Theoretically, that should make me cultured, urbane, intelligent, blah blah blah blah.

However, if I have learned anything in my short life it is this:

"you can try to change but that's just the top layer
Man, you was who you was 'fore you got here"

So without further ado - My Top Ten Guilty Pleasures* (in no particular order):

1. Tila Tequila: A Shot At Love
Okay I was in a friends room late one night and she had her channel on MTV and this show came on. I watched a few minutes and was hooked! Maybe it is because of my own history with bisexual women (a column for another day), or maybe it's just the unique concept - but my guilty pleasure number one is Tila Tequila.

2. Utopia: The World of Legends
I really don't remember how or why I found "the world's most popular interactive multi-player game" but there is something about having my own province and being a fantasy character that just gets me. For those who know: I play as a Dark Elf, Mystic T/M.

3. Naruto
This was the series that really got me hooked on anime. Watch the first 200 episodes to get up to speed (okay towards the end there are a lot of filler, so maybe more like 130 episodes). Then start working your way through Shippuuden which is ongoing right now. For those who know: For the best site to get the latest Naruto episodes subbed (around 1:00 a.m. every Thursday night) is Anime Kiosk.

4. Bleach
As much as I love Naruto, Bleach is definitely better. (Actually I change my mind about which is better almost every day). Even the Bleach filler going on right now isn't too bad. For those who know: Sado's new finishing move "La Muerte" has to be the coolest signature move in anime right now. And while we are on the topic of Sado- isn't he like the feel good anime story of the year. I mean seriously he like the Eli Manning of Bleach. Sado sucked for 161 episodes, and you had started to wonder why he was even around, he didn't even seem close to being in the same league of Ichigo, and then one day he randomly gets the coolest attack in Bleach and its all the better because of the wait, because you didn't see it coming, because you had given up hope on Chad. This is why I love Bleach!

5. Page 2 on ESPN.com
I sort of love sports. It's crazy because I don't usually talk about it too much but I always love reading about sports - especially basketball. Can't get enough. Scoop Jackson and Bill Simmons are geniuses. Seriously why are you reading this - go read them - now! (and tell them Art Star sent you)

6. Googling peoples names
True, totally creepy story: I was in love with girl when we were both 15 and I had lost track of her over the years (she deleted her facebook account), so I googled her name. It was scary - I was able to find out her birth date and city, where she went to college, what she did there, etc. Google your name and see what is out there about you. Then google your parents, then a friend, it gets pretty addictive, very quickly. But I'm not alone in my google habits, the U.S. government does it too.

7. Sex and the City
Yes, I am straight.

8. Mass messages
I LOVE sending mass text messages, and emails, and things like that. I don't know why. It is just that no one could send out a message to hundreds of people in an instant - like you would have to write letters or call people - or things like that. Seriously, mass messaging people is merely a celebration of technology (and annoying as hell)!


9. Yoville application on facebook
I actually read about this application in the Business section of the New York Times a few months ago. Apparently this might be the introduction of Web 3.0 (we are currently on 2.0). Either way I get to be a little 3-D avatar, design a room, and play tic-tac-toe and paper, rock, scissors with random people all in real time - all without having to download any software to my computer. The only problem is that you really can't make a black person... (someone call Al Sharpton immediately!)

10. Reparations
Okay, maybe this will offend our white readership - but dammit I love the idea of reparations. I mean the U.S. government did break treaties and agreements. I mean I have a family a tree that leads directly to a large white slave owner in Alabama (Wilcox Ratcliff). I mean it wouldn't have to be money or land - I would be happy if every white person had to pick cotton for a day once a year - and if they didn't pick a day's worth of cotton they would have to pay a tax that would fund scholarships for low-income black kids. Seriously wouldn't this be great! I am declaring that if I ever think about marrying a white girl - she would have to go to field and pick a day's worth of cotton with me or its a no go.

There was a time when the real me wrote a dating column.

I was having my own Sex and the City moment with two of my best guy friends (no homo but damn right I kissed my daddy)

I learned two important things - first off random people (deans, teachers, grandparents) will read you articles if they are published.
Second - writing a dating column is terrible for one's personal dating life.

That being said, I've been thinking a lot about the topic of "nice guys" vs "assholes".

We all know girls prefer assholes.

We all know that girls say that it is confidence that they find sexy, not assholishness.

But what is more confident than the ability to be completely honest with a person, perhaps even a stranger.

I feel that 9 times out of ten we know if we like someone or not -probably after 5 minutes of talking to them.

We think they are funny, or cute, or clever, or witty, or intriguing, or maybe just damn sexy.

But we know.

However, most of us spend a couple weeks playing games with the other person just because we feel we have to.

A nice guy might simply say to a girl "Hey I think you are great, Do you want to go on a date with me?"

For whatever reason that probably will not make her want to lick him like a lollipop.

But isn't he being honest - isn't he confident enough to put himself out there - to make himself vulnerable?

Isn't that suppose to be sexy?

Yes. But its not.

Which brings us to the asshole.
The jerk.
The guy who won't admit to kissing his daddy.

He might be confident but it is probably just a front for his own insecurity.
He will probably seem like a chase because he fears vulnerability.
And he will probably keep getting girls, because most girls fear vulnerability too.
Most girls are insecure.

Maybe they like assholes because they aren't ready for a nice guy
Maybe they are still too "girl" for a real man.

Maybe the problem isn't that there aren't enough "nice guys" out there, but that most girls ignore them.

Maybe most girls only go after what they feel they deserve.