Last night I received a text message that read, "God I hate how white ppl are afraid of us. You can see the fear and uncertainty as they walk past with their eyes downcast with what almost looks like shame."
This is not going to be a post about race - but about fear, perception, and reality.
Most of us have no clue what any of the financial news we heard this week meant, and no one has any clue what it means.
However, we all know that people are increasingly becoming a little scared and a little uncertain.
So, it shouldn't come as surprise that chants of "Drill, Baby, Drill" make people feel better. Even though it won't help gas prices, now or in the future, it is "doing something".
However it is surprising when President Bush asks for a 700 billion dollar bailout for our financial system.
Surprising because all of my life I have been taught that conservatives and Republicans don't believe in interfering with the financial system, believe that the market should be allowed to correct itself, and the smaller government is - the better.
Still, the reality is that the President and the Republican Party feel like they have to "do something" even if goes against "who they are" and "whose they are".
No one personifies this more than John McCain.
In his heart of hearts John McCain knows he's wrong. He knows he isn't the man he used to be. He knows that the majority of everything he says now is simply to win an election.He knows he is now sleeping with the enemy, enemies he has spent decades of his life trying to defeat. He knows he used to stand for something - something that gave many Americans hope.
He knows how much "used to" hurts.
And I can't help but wonder if, like all of us, he too is a little scared and a little uncertain?
If he wonders whether or not he could live with himself if he doesn't win the election. I wonder if he knows that this is his last shot - that the public won't let him flip/flop back to his old ways, that once you go to dark side you can never go back.
I wonder if this keeps him up at night. I wonder if this is where his rage comes from. That when he assaults Obama for having advisers tied to Freddie and Fannie is he really just saying - don't become like me. If he sees in Barack Obama the man he used to be, the man he wanted to be, the man he can no longer be.
I wonder if he hates him for it. If that hate breeds uncertainty and fear.
I wonder next Friday as they meet for the Great Debate, if when they first see each other, for the briefest of seconds, will John McCain cast his eyes downward with trembling and shame?
